Commencement

I title this entry "Commencement" because of something I remember from my high school graduation some 35 years ago, when a speaker said that although we call the end of a segment of our schooling commencement, the word itself denotes a beginning, not an ending. It seemed appropriate to me as I think of my last few days living with the "big arm" - using it in ways I'm not likely to be able to after surgery, thinking about how I haven't had my left arm flush against my side in 6 months, wondering how life as I've known it for 52 years will shortly change - that this is precisely the case here and now. A part of my life is ending; another part of my life is just beginning. This is simply the journey I've been given. It's neither bad nor good, just what is. My journey. In some ways it's pretty exciting, because everything I'll face will be absolutely new. It's a chance to learn so much more about myself as a person, and a chance to grow. Perhaps it's not the way I would have chosen to do it, but it is the way I have been given to pursue. And so I will, with eyes wide open and a willingness to make the most of it. The unknowns will be knowns quite shortly. And, really, the only way out of what I'm about to go into is to go through it and come out the other end.

I'm coming into the last few days before the actual surgery happens. The radiation burn on the arm has largely healed - just a little rough skin, most of which will be gone after the operation Tuesday.

I spent Wednesday the 11th getting a final MRI, pre-op physical, and meeting with my surgeon, Dr. Weber. Pretty much what I expected, although it was a long day. I'm told my left arm will never be as strong as it once was, but it will be functional. The only dicey part may be that a nerve that lifts my wrist back may or may not be overrun by the tumor. They won't know until they open me up, but if it is compromised, then they'll have to remove it and do a nerve transplant. In that case, they would take a nerve from near my ankle and transplant it into my arm to replace the one sacrificed to remove the tumor. The downside is that the recovery time for that would be around 1 year. Still, the nerves that allow me to make a fist will be intact, and a year isn't too long if I get to keep a functioning arm. Dr. Weber assures me that I'll still be able to do photography.

Per Dr. Weber, I'll probably be in surgery for about 6-7 hours, then to the ICU for recovery. After that, I'll have a private room in the Weinberg Center at Hopkins, where I'll be for up to a week. It could be less, depending on complications (or a lack thereof). Then I'll be at my Mom's recuperating for a week more. By then, as my reconstructive surgeon, Dr. Singh, says, I should be feeling like a human being again and I should be well along to recovering from the surgical procedures. I'm looking forward to finishing the final Harry Potter book during that time.

Until next Tuesday, I'm getting the house and bills in order, arranging for cat care and the like, and enjoying the last few days before surgery by doing things like mowing grass and having dinners with friends. I'll continue blogging after the surgery as I'm able and as I have access to the Net. On to the next part of the adventure!